Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Ashley's: umbrellas, trivia night and puns



Ashley's is located at 338 S. State St.
 What makes bars better the restaurants?

Silly question I know, beer is the simplest and best answer to this bit of trivia.

But if you’re looking for a secondary answer, I’d offer this one. The bar is the last ‘judgment-free’ zone in America. Well, providing you find the right bar. (This is a blog about bars, not a bar in and of itself, so judging is OK).

Tonight I made a trip to Ann Arbor favorite Ashley’s, located here, home of what might be the best beer selection in Ann Arbor—and that’s saying something.

It was a drizzly Monday. I told myself I’d buy an umbrella in June, but that’s not going too well, because of---things.

I took a seat at the bar, which was experiencing a pretty sparse crowd both at the bar and the table seating area.

I ordered a Founder’s Oatmeal Stout and the Badger Burger, your classic BLT burger, but with a pretty respectably BBQ sauce to go on it. The bar was empty, with the exception of the 40-something-year-old business man three stools to my right and the group of two college-aged guys trying to win over young lady who looked a tad bit older than both of them. Safe to say neither of them won the contest, but I’ll give the tiebreaker to the dude who didn’t say mention his snake in his apartment every two minutes; seriously guy, suitably-- try it. 

When I was halfway through my burger and looking to order a Newcastle Brown Ale, I noticed I was the only one remaining the bar. Normally, this is not the worst thing to happen. Usually being the loner at the bar gives you a chance to speak to the bar staff and get the inside scoop on the night.

Alas, this was not one of those nights. The seating area was now packed, since Monday night at Ashley’s is trivia night.

Trivia night is a cult phenomenon around the Ann Arbor bar scene; not that I’m complaining. I’m a nerd, not afraid to say it. But even worse, I’m a nerd in multiple categories.

It’s one thing to know that Fe is iron on the periodic table; it is one thing to know Napoleon Bonaparte was born in Corsica and not France; and it is another thing to know the first FIFA World Cup was played in Uruguay in 1930 with 13 teams. But when you know all three of those things, you really have done a good job diluting all sense of being normal, even amongst other nerds.

For me, trivia is the vindication for acquiring a lifetime of worthless knowledge. (But it’s not worthless when you win a gift card to Buffalo Wild Wings because you know the Warsaw Pact better than you know your cousins).

The thing about trivia night is that it really is for groups of friends at tables. For the average guy at the bar who just wants a drink and a casual conversation, trivia night really limits that with a DJ asking random 1980s pop trivia questions and playing one-minute versions of once famous songs. Perhaps this is why the more experience bar crowd avoided Ashley’s tonight.

Still, sitting at the bar did give me time to people watch and make some mental notes on how people act in groups. For the most part, the teams that did well were the most regimented.

 “Putting the D in” was by far the class of the field tonight (both in the name and on the scorecard). 

The group had the leader with the pencil and would go directly to the person on the team that had knowledge of whatever category the question was related to (history, science, music, who was in this particular commercial, etc.). While other teams tried to ‘talk it out’ and collaborate on the answer, this team of winners knew what was up –just give the ball to the most talented player on the field, and everybody else move out of the way.

“Putting the D in” were the masters at this strategy of teamwork by enlightened aristocracy. While other teams delved in with the idea of team voting and ‘Hey, let’s combine answers so we get half points’ (this strategy not only didn’t work, but really should result in losing points on the count of it is that bad of an idea).

The second best team “Let’s Go Brew” (ha, get it? It’s like Let’s Go Blue, but in they’re in a bar so they threw in a beer pun—yes, I know I’m an asshole at times), had a similar strategy. But instead of having a team of nerds who to go to, this team had the go to nerd who wrote down the answer all the time---essentially he was Kobe Bryant. If he made it, the team will do well; if he misses, well, what are they going to do? Go to the couple at the corner of the table that has been making out for five minute straights (I’m not against public displays of affection, but if you put your tongue in someone’s mouth for the duration on an entire Major League Baseball pitching change, someone is bound to get hurt).

By this time, I’m finishing up my Weihenstephaner Hefeweizen and looking for the door. To my right is the same chick and two bros from earlier. (God bless them for still trying, it’s like the end of Gallipoli, you know it’s going to end poorly, but you still have to watch). I thought about grabbing another, but then someone missed a question about who the Bull Moose Party nominated for president in 1912, and I felt it’d be best I leave before I put my ‘Teddy Roosevelt , I’m going to tear through you like Panama' face on. (RIP Robin Williams).

 I paid my tab for my delicious burgers and set of beers and headed out the door.

All and all, Ashley’s offers the best beer selection in Ann Arbor, and the food menu is pretty solid for the non-beer drinking. Which reminds me, the chick being hounded by the two bros was drinking a cocktail at a beer bar, never a good sign guys. (At least order a cider, it’s the right thing to do if you don’t like beer). 

Anyway, the one Khaleesi and two Jorah Mormonts did return to the bar. Neither of them tried to impress her with their knowledge of StarCraft and Tolkien, so I can’t feel sorry for them. (But we can feel sorry for Jorah, damn you Daario Naharis).

Upon leaving, I wished I had a chance to get to learn about  the staff a little more. Judging from my prior experiences at the place, the staff seems seem pretty legit. But busy nights are always rough—so they were worth the standard 15 percent tip.

As I was walking out, the rain was still coming down, reminding me that fall is on its way (umbrella, needs to happen, soon, maybe). U-M is not that far from the bar, so I’m dead-set positive the place will be an entirely new scene in a matter of a few weeks, just in time for me to be in Grand Rapids (my lucky day).

But Ashley’s is the bar you wish you had in your hometown for nice post-work drink and burger. 

Unless it’s trivia night, that’s never good alone. So as always, pregame scouting can never hurt. 

Seriously “Let’s Go Brew”, you missed ‘who was the first African-American coach to win the Super Bowl’—Tony Dungy. That’s a layup. Go back to cocktails and 1980s pop songs.

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